I suddenly broke down again.
I started to think.
Where does light of strength
comes from? Hmm. I have
to be honest. I do still
_______ someone. Just to be
true that S.P(Special People)
never be erased from the chamber
of my heart.
I've made up my mind, not to
find anyone. AS in special frens.
Unless if someone have feelings
for me truly, i will also feel..
Im currently now hoping wat i
wished always comes true.
But patience is a virtue.......
To be able to see the true,
makes me more confident.
But when i see things failed,
i start to lose strength in trusting
myself. God only knows wat i feel for
someone. But its just that its nt
meant to be one. A fren for me is
gd. But if u put hope more than just
a fren, u will feel different and hope
he/she will be urs personally.
Labels: Losing In Self Confidence.
Still By Myself..!, Monday, March 31, 2008.
Currently now at home, didnt go to skewl
cos i have a terrible headache early in the morning.
I went to doctor and got two days mc inclusive of
today.
I dun have enough rest, i do too much exercises(activities)
till that my blood pressure is low. I got to stop all sports
for few weeks. Nonetheless i cant cos my tournament
for sepak takraw CC is coming pretty fast. Later...
To **r**:
Sorry if i talked crap,
i just could feel u avoid me.
I just have the feelings that
u gave a fake smile. But then
u said its nt true. Im sorry and
always hope u to be my normal fren.
Even if u hate me once, u dun have
to be my fren but i will always be ur
fren...:)
Still By Myself..!, Monday, March 31, 2008.
Dad is back, Im no more alone now.
I just mopped the floor, swept the
floor, and it is just as clean as it is.:P
Wat crap!
Hmm i've counted the weeks for our
exams and its like so fast. Left abt 4 more
weeks i guess?? Lets talk abt today.
I woke up at 9, had breakfast and then
watched bro WEDDING video DVD.
I cried when seeing the moments when bro
is leaving to his wife house. My sis cried again
cos it was too touching. My bro and me have
a great bond than other siblings. Wat he likes,
exactly wat i like, when im in need, he will help,
when he is in need, i will help. There's a game
called Shinobido which will always reminds me
of me and my bro.
There is two ninjas, One is Zaji and another is Goh.
Zaji aka eagle and Goh aka Crow. Im the Goh.
With this simple equation(WTH) i will always
remember him.
Then at 3.15 mum and sis left for vivo.
And at 4 my eldest sis and her children
also left for vivo for same reason but following
different grp. After they left, i mopped the floor
and suddenly dad was home!! I quickly clean up
and start rearranging the furnitures. Truly
saying my hse is in REAL MESS CONDITION!
Cos of too many things need to be cleared. Neh
i will do it slowly. :) Next thing i gonna do is to
iron my uniform and relace my school shoes.
And till here then...
To ****n:
I knw wat is past has passed.
I knw ur intention in studies.
And i believe with that, u dun
any special guys in ur life. Only
eye candy will do. With that i
respect ur decision and hoped,
that in school u will smile and
talk to me cos i knw u are avoiding me:
Still By Myself..!, Sunday, March 30, 2008.
I feel bad for not following mum to Vivo.
We planned to leave hse at 3.30.
But just now at 2.30 ard that time,
i started to feel bad headaches.
Headaches like from few days past..
I wonder why im having headaches
nowadays........
I just dunno why.....
Sorry mum.....:(
Labels: Im sorry
Still By Myself..!, Sunday, March 30, 2008.
Currently now awake, waiting for mum and dad to return
home from JB. They sent brother home and went to JB
to isi minyak. Currently im blogging after reading some peoples
blog. I realised smtg happened ytd. Someone fainted.
What Azmee said to me might be true. I just dont see why im
stucked in this situation. One, who is hard hearted and concentrating
in studies while the other one maybe waiting for my ****.
Ouh shit i just cant stand the feelings of being trap in ****.
I got my hobby and i just want to concentrate on my hobby-___-
Its just that my bicycle dont have enough parts. I heard
daddy wanna give some sponsors. Ouh i donno hw much
will it cost him. I just need few things, skewers, mechanical
disc brake, new pair of tires, 9-1converter, and maybe a
seat.
Tmr maybe going to Tay Junction(Singapore Biggest Bicycle Shop)
Then after that to Vivo cos mum bought tickets for some carnival or
watsoever. I dunno why i start to slack alot. AS in NEver do hmwk.
Never study. I must do smtg. Frm now. This minute u are reading,
maybe something good have started. I just dunno wat else to say.
Labels: Lost In A Dream World.
Still By Myself..!, Sunday, March 30, 2008.
Tmr is friday, leaving class at 11.20.
Hw great! Jogathon. Wonder if i could
survive the 2.4km jog. Neh. Dont bother
on getting a medal or award for running.
Currently left with 35bucks. I donno
wat to do with it. Thought of buying my
bicycle parts. But nt enough money cos
one its parts is 50bucks and the other is
45bucks. Currently my bicycle now cant
move cos the lack of parts. I will start
cycle probably after exams.
Actually i didnt went to training. I was suppose
to leave house at 3 but i fell asleep and woke
up at 3.15 sharp! Ouh gosh! So my mum told
me nt to go cos i dun have enough rest. Monday
usually i cycle, tuesday training, wednesday cycle
and night takraw training, thursday training, friday
cycle and night training, saturday training the whole
day. Imagine without a rest. It might jeopardise my
health. My neighbours, aunties, cuz, says im skinny.
Ouh shit lack of rest, lack of food, too much exercise.
Crazyiee nia!
To talk about this i feel down.
I've been thinking about her.(again)
The little gerl, she became my eyecandy
again. Dis means i must get ready my bicycle
again and start doing stunts so i forget her...
Wat the toot im talking nia....
Still By Myself..!, Thursday, March 27, 2008.
Currently im thinking on what is my hmwk,
I was pressurise by coming exams. i realised
that im slacking too much. I need to buck up.
Suddenly i miss her. The other her. Wonder why
her name is still flying ard my head. To feel
shy when meet, to feel angry when criticise,
to feel care when she dont care for me...
I wonder whats with me. I've been scolding mum
nowadays. Is it because of my bicycle breakdown?
Or is it because i am too tired? Seriously i dunno
why i scolded mum. Its evil of me as a son to shout
at her..
Seriously im sorry for wat happen. School makes me
think more. I sumtimes got cock up during lessons.
Sleeping, talking and bla-shit crap. I need to be more
focus. And i need to forget her, a her with spectacles....
I floated in the air to see you,
but instead i saw someone else.
U avoided me, U hate me.
I realise im ntg, and u are my
dream, nt reality...(the gerl with specs)
Labels: philosophy
Still By Myself..!, Tuesday, March 25, 2008.
Currently now just blogging and chatting.
Im dead bored. I dunno wat to do.
Tmr im werking, werking as Pencuci Pinggan
or Dish Washer. Actually im helping CC cos
they need worker for tmr occasion only.
Only tomorrow. Who the hell want to work
when u still can study and enjoy. Rite?
Hmm. My bicycle currently now wheelless.
I stripped my bicycle. Due to my spoiled wheelset,
due to wrong landing when doing stunt, i need
50bucks to buy parts. If i got the money and
my bike is ready, i will ensure that i wont do stoopid
things again.. HAHA!
Hmm. Just to stressed out that past few days, during
sleeping, i dream of few ppl, wanna know? I guess
u ask me on ur own. HAHA.
Thats all i can say. Maybe later then i blog again:)
Still By Myself..!, Saturday, March 22, 2008.
Ok now i wanna talk.
Yesterday went to bugis, many crazy
thing happened. Me and frens went there
cos we wanna buy new clothes. haha.
Then all my fren smoke except me, cos im
the goody one. So before that we pass by raffles
hospital, but suddenly my fren found a 10 dollar
note and we all went to macdonald. And they wanted
to buy cigarrette and at raffles hospital bench, they
found a full box of cigarrette. Thats crazy i could say.
They found two box.
So after that we walk for like abt 4 hours. And one of my
fren decided to buy shirts at topman topshop. so we went
there and he spent 55bucks for just two shirts??
Crazy sia... Otw home, met hong yi.
Now, today im bored. Later going out.
Tmr I got werk. CC werk i meant.
And monday tournament the whole day.
FUCK!
Still By Myself..!, Saturday, March 22, 2008.
Today mum and dad wanted to go Jb
actually, but due to heavily congested
traffic, they decided to return back home.
I woke up at 10.30 today because at
12.30 meeting afif. So i took my bathe
and all and went out of hse at 12.15. I
took my bicycle along. Otw there, I realised
that my bicycle crank or the part where u
cycle, the screw has become so lose that
the crankarm can even move!
I was so panic and went to Limbang bicycle
shop to change my crank and Bottom Bracket.
Actually i brought along the spare parts in
case of any breakdown. So i paid 20*((&&#* bucks
just to change the crank. And its my mum's
money. Means next week i must pay her with
my salary. Next week i have a job. Which is
a heavy job. HAHA.
So just now after fixed my bicycle, went to teck
whye to do afif school pants. ALAMAK PIT,
ASL TAK BAWAK DUIT EXTRA. NASEB AKU
ADE DUIT. Nvm, bro nye pasal tak kesa.
So then went back to yew tee and did hmwk. But
after sometime, we got bored and wanted to play
takraw. But then i got the idea of bringing afif to
where i play takraw usually. I want him to be
exposed to other players. He was quite shocked
to see his cousin was there.
Then we went home at 6.30. And now at 8.46pm,
im here sitting, chatting, listening to songs and
blogging :). Till here then..
U lied to me. I hate ur attitude.
Ur mum called me just to tell me
to avoid u cos of ur **&*(#@&
results! Im ANGRY WITH U!!!
Labels: What Are You?
Still By Myself..!, Saturday, March 15, 2008.
I JUST CAME BACK FROM SARAWAK!
ok sarawak is simply UNIQUE. With its
culture, its style and etc, they preserve
their culture. Till now and till anytime..
Its just cool that they have alot of unique
ethnic grp. Includes the Orang Iban, Orang
Ulu, Orang Melanau, Orang Cina, Orang Penan
Orang Bidayuh and Malay.
My Favourite is the Ibans. They are just cool.
U see ah, according to history, The Ibans invades
the Bidayuh and at the same time, The Ibans is
defending themselves against the Pirates at the sea.
They are just strong cos they have strong warrior.
They have special equipment for hunting. And many
more. Will i continue tomorrow cos im dead tired now.
Nites to all...
Still By Myself..!, Tuesday, March 11, 2008.
Currently now i broke down.
Im sick. Flu, FEver, Sore Throat.
I didnt noe that due to the cold
weather i will break down.
Im now currently voiceless.
Currently flu. Fever no more.
Haiya. Im stress regarding
Sarawak. And Now another thing
goes into my mind.
No need to mention...
Thats all for now..
Im shocked that u started a
conversation with me. I feel
that it is strange. I want u to
know why i care and adore u,
is just that u are unique. For
me, ppl like u is where i compare
myself and the rest. U ppl are more
clever. Good in religious. And
from u, i learnt wat is MENGAJI.
Wat is prayers. And That U have
changed me... Im grateful to God
that i got to know u. :)
Labels: Because You...
Still By Myself..!, Thursday, March 06, 2008.
Currently now perspiring, Just came back from cycling.
Learnt how to wheelie today. Great feelings when u can
do sumtink new. Whoa but bad luck sia, when going home
did wheelie skali over paddle then slip of the paddle and i
slammed my leg on the floor. My knee is fucking painful now.
Nevermind will practice till can get the correct phase of wheelie.
Im so demanding. I want wat i want.
But now it turns to be ugly. True to be
said, lie when u are guilty. Im starting
to make her irritated. Starting to make
it more worse!
Still By Myself..!, Tuesday, March 04, 2008.
Currently now. Sitting down waiting for my bro
arrival. He's sleeping over tonight.
Hmm. My bicycle gone WRONG! THE BRAKES!
Its brakeless now. I nearly hit an aunty just now.
Just a few inches and i will hit her. Infront of police
post sumore. Hmm. I need to get hydro disc brakes.
But i dunno where to get. Cos i guess its gonna be
F***ing expensive. Hydro use alot of money sia.
NEmind. Gonna get it soon. No matter wat.
Brakeless is nt my type. Later shoes will run off.
Hmm. But hydro brakes is pretty dangerous guys.
Tap the brake abit, u can skid the tires or if u tap
the front one, u can front flip. I donno which to buy.
As in mechanical brake or hydro. NEmind. I will see.
Thats all for now..:)
Labels: Because Hydro are Just COOL
Still By Myself..!, Saturday, March 01, 2008.
NAME : MUHAMMAD EDDY SHAIFUL
NAME : MUHAMMAD EDDY SHAIFUL
