Pictures Of You ♥

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Hey guys.. Well.. past few days had alot of test. Test made me sick, feel so down. Felt so burdened. But yet, it is to test my limits of strength. Many things happened to me recently. But nonetheless I don't know if I should discuss about it.

Yesterday had a riding session with Amirul, Fathul and Nas. We went to ECP at 12. Although something happened in the early part, I don't wish to elaborate here. I still move on with the plan. Just talked normally.. Reached Bedok at 1. Fixed up and rode to ecp. The sun was scorching hot that it could tear my skin off. So we rode at ECP and by 10.30 night we went off for our beds at home. Something happened again. My ego and me. IDIOTIC ME! Reached home exactly on 12midnight.

Went online and chit chat with friends. Discussed things out with Amirul. Got some lesson learnt from the conversation we had. But I got my point for blasting at you. My point wasn't direct thats why. My mortar went wrong and shot the wrong target. That was my mistake.

The next paragraph I'm gonna say something, Referral to some people :

HazWani
I know at times I disturb you, asked you this and that. Got irritated I presume? Ok I would like to apologise for this. And when you don't entertain me or talk much I will go like why like this and like that. It was actually nothing done by you but its me who is being PARANOID ( think of things that you never do or thought about actually ). I got head shot yesterday with what my friends said. I was blatantly blaming people, now I realised its my mistake for misjudging you. I'm sorry. Hope you Are reading this.

Classmates 5/1
Sometimes I went berserk or like create stupid jokes which may be no link. Then I had times where you see me on the bad mood face and stuff. Alot have been running in my mind. Too mmuch thinking ruptured my cells and made me loose control. I just felt traumatised sometimes. I don't like people to tease me or make me feel sore loser. I don't mind if people approach me for my mistakes. But don't make me feel like a sore loser. I got a history of being bullied during primary school. So now I'm taking a strong stand of myself to prevent people from bullying me. So ended up, I'm paranoid. I want to be closer with you guys. I want to CHANGE my attitude. Help me guys :/

Riders
Sometimes my fractious attitude made you all felt irritated. Seriously, I can't control myself when I'm sugar rush. Truly everytime during I ride, I will consume a lot of sugar content foods so I have the energy to keep moving. But everything have its pro's and Con's. Sorry guys. Its good to have you all around. True, if you all dislike me, for sure you wont ride with me. But then everyone is riding with me. So yeah. I'm Paranoid.

Thats all

Still By Myself..!, Sunday, February 28, 2010.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Just enjoy the video. I will be away. Releasing pain. Realising life. Realising all have gone :D

Still By Myself..!, Friday, February 19, 2010.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I'm not trying to make my post a sorrow one or what. But in fact, its reality. I didn't go to school due to sick. Before waking up early in the morning, I had a couple flashes of dreams. I don't know what's going on. Every thing seems dark, dull, mundane, sad and easy said, negative..

Trying to reach out for the sun, looking for a glimpse of hope. Sadly, its like difficult. I don't know last few days i've been sad, I dunno. I believe that god everytime gives me this pressure and situation is to test my limits. But I believe, Im able to do it. I will get the hell out of me.

This is like a flashback. This is like a dream.. Sunday, Its about to reveal. I cant lie anymore. I'm always stuck, unable to move. Hence this decision allows me to have a narrow view.. We wait and see :/

Still By Myself..!, Wednesday, February 10, 2010.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Its pretty mundane. Its pretty boring. OH! I Failed my maths test. -__-'' Patheticly, by one mark. Because of careless mistake! Imagine 2x2 give me 8. I was so careless. Stupid shit if
not I would have just passed that test. Pretty languid for Takraw match this thursday. Everything seems to meet at the dead end. I can't find any brighter ideas. I guess this weekend Barbecue with aunt and cuzzie, Im gonna make full use of it. Clear all my black clouds. Clear my doubts. Let go my problems and take a new cover.

Recently, I complaint to mum about CCA. I find it wasting my time. CAuse, all the cycle starts again. I prefer not having CCA why? Because when I have CCA, I can't slack. If I Got no CCA, Once i reach home, I will sleep an hour or two before doing my homework or revision. Imagine, With cca, I will reach home by 7pm. WOW! Sounds late ah. Yeah it is late. I mean, the time i used to regain my energy back is being used..

So then When I reached home, I will be double tired. So Mdm Khamilia spotted me being moody sometimes. But truly I'm the person who is able to control my mood. But then!, When someone asked me something, I will change my mood and straight away will treat HER nicely. HEHE. Keep guessing alrite?

Still By Myself..!, Tuesday, February 09, 2010.

Monday, February 8, 2010

These few days have been really bad for me. Every good things that happened, there will
be bad ones too. First, Quarelled with someone. Second someone's leaving. The first seems stupid I guess. Its my fault. I didn't expect it to turn out the other way round. Ended up not good terms.

Second was today. No wonder I couldn't sleep last night. I was pretty restless. Everything that's going to happen, I could sense. I could sense something will be wrong. So then, some bad news came along. I just can't believe it. I hope its fake. And I hope you won't leave. I know its pretty a hard one. But I just can't imagine not having you with me. I mean, you should know everytime I'm with you. I need you. You won't understand why. You don't understand. But.. I'll pray hard you will still be here.

Summarising everything for today. Taiwan is on my way. Probably she will go away. But please don't go from me. I need you...

Still By Myself..!, Monday, February 08, 2010.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Ok nothing excites me. When I feel joy, I will go overboard. I tell you. I don't mind you scolding me. But tell me, stop smsing u much. I can stand the pain when you hit my face with words. Im the person who is somehow translucent and could accept facts, scolding, and maybe harsh words. But if you like to keep to urself and dont say it out. And say behind me, I guess u lose things out. Simple, Im a person whom u can crash on, meaning, im easy going. But once u do things like commenting behind my back, think back, what if i comment abt u on ur back..

Seriously, I love u, as my sister. I got no feelings for u alrdy. If u read this, good. I hope u get me right. Yesterday I had sugar rush. Stupid as it sounds. I disturb almost everyone in my contact list. Bigman is the victim. So yeah..

Aku harap sunset tetap kawan kau sal..dont destroy my plans..

Still By Myself..!, Monday, February 01, 2010.