Sunday, February 28, 2010

Hey guys.. Well.. past few days had alot of test. Test made me sick, feel so down. Felt so burdened. But yet, it is to test my limits of strength. Many things happened to me recently. But nonetheless I don't know if I should discuss about it.

Yesterday had a riding session with Amirul, Fathul and Nas. We went to ECP at 12. Although something happened in the early part, I don't wish to elaborate here. I still move on with the plan. Just talked normally.. Reached Bedok at 1. Fixed up and rode to ecp. The sun was scorching hot that it could tear my skin off. So we rode at ECP and by 10.30 night we went off for our beds at home. Something happened again. My ego and me. IDIOTIC ME! Reached home exactly on 12midnight.

Went online and chit chat with friends. Discussed things out with Amirul. Got some lesson learnt from the conversation we had. But I got my point for blasting at you. My point wasn't direct thats why. My mortar went wrong and shot the wrong target. That was my mistake.

The next paragraph I'm gonna say something, Referral to some people :

HazWani
I know at times I disturb you, asked you this and that. Got irritated I presume? Ok I would like to apologise for this. And when you don't entertain me or talk much I will go like why like this and like that. It was actually nothing done by you but its me who is being PARANOID ( think of things that you never do or thought about actually ). I got head shot yesterday with what my friends said. I was blatantly blaming people, now I realised its my mistake for misjudging you. I'm sorry. Hope you Are reading this.

Classmates 5/1
Sometimes I went berserk or like create stupid jokes which may be no link. Then I had times where you see me on the bad mood face and stuff. Alot have been running in my mind. Too mmuch thinking ruptured my cells and made me loose control. I just felt traumatised sometimes. I don't like people to tease me or make me feel sore loser. I don't mind if people approach me for my mistakes. But don't make me feel like a sore loser. I got a history of being bullied during primary school. So now I'm taking a strong stand of myself to prevent people from bullying me. So ended up, I'm paranoid. I want to be closer with you guys. I want to CHANGE my attitude. Help me guys :/

Riders
Sometimes my fractious attitude made you all felt irritated. Seriously, I can't control myself when I'm sugar rush. Truly everytime during I ride, I will consume a lot of sugar content foods so I have the energy to keep moving. But everything have its pro's and Con's. Sorry guys. Its good to have you all around. True, if you all dislike me, for sure you wont ride with me. But then everyone is riding with me. So yeah. I'm Paranoid.

Thats all

Still By Myself..!, Sunday, February 28, 2010.